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Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Today I Hate Computers

Thank you, Bill Gates.  You have made my life a living hell.  Why did you ask me to upgrade to Internet Explorer 9?  I was perfectly happy with Internet Explorer 7.  But, noooooooooo.   Like a fool I “upgraded.” 
And what happened?  My list of Favorites has disappeared.  Vanished, just like that.  Gone.  A warning would have been nice.  But you gave no word, not even a hint that this disaster would transpire.  What I spent years adding to and perfecting, the Favorites that contained every website I needed at my fingertips, compartmentalized, categorized, and classified, —poof!  Thanks, Bill, you miserable piece of @#*$&!  Sorry for the profanity, but I went from mild annoyance to uncontrollable rage faster than a Corvette goes from 0 to 60.  I’ve been fuming for well over an hour now.
Did you hear that, Bill?  Yes, for over an hour I’ve been searching in vain for a solution to this issue, hunched over my computer typing in search questions and coming up with incomprehensible answers.  Or answers that say, “Press Button A…” and there is no freaking Button A.  Or “Click on this or that drop down” and doesn't tell you how to get there. 

Unlike computer whizzes, everyday people like me don’t automatically intuit the in-between steps.  We don’t even know the beginning steps.  What seems obvious to you leads us poor innocents to self-inflicted catastrophe, like lambs to the slaughter.  Yes, I will pile on the cliches and the non sequiturs!  I don't give a flying rat's behind at this point!

Bill Gates, you told me to switch to IE9, when I didn’t even know what that stood for.  You hinted at dire consequences if I didn’t.  You said it would be easier to use.  A filthy lie!   

You promised it would provide more goodies.  What good is more goodies if I can’t find them or know how to use them???  Or even what they are.   A devious trap!
Why can’t I learn?  How many times do I have to fall for this?  Because Bill, you suckered me into it.  You said I couldn’t do “x” anymore if I didn’t upgrade.  I don’t even remember now what “x” was.  And I took the bait.   
I am consoling myself with a faint glimmer of hope.  (More cliches - yes!  I don't care!)  I found an article that promised a solution, one that I could understand, maybe.  I printed off all four pages of it  (four pages!). 

I’m too exhausted right now to deal with it.  I’ll think about it tomorrow, like Scarlett.

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